*The Whole Story

I was a child of seven or eight. I was small and seemingly fragile for my age, with overly large blue eyes and wispy blonde hair. I stood between my stepfather and mother before a large paddock as several yearlings stormed in. Dust and wind kicked up all around us as they rushed past wild and untouched by humankind. The four Caballeros chased the young horses into exhaustion. They retreated to attempt a new plan as the owner of the land, and horses settled quietly next to us. He spoke out of nowhere, “This doesn’t seem to be getting us very far. Every year, it’s the same. It will take us days to get halters on this green lot.” He shook his head and whistled at the guys, making a big swooping circle over his head. They seemed to understand the signal and left to let the young horses settle. I trotted loosely behind my mother as my stepdad and the ranch owner spoke. 

“She could have your horses haltered in an hour or so once they’ve settled.” My stepdad gestured back at me. All three turned and looked at me. I smiled shyly from where I stood. 

“Is that true, young lady?” The ranch owner said, smiling and winking at me. I nodded with solid eye contact. He cocked his head a bit and then said, “Well, okay. Let’s give it a try.” His smile was one steeped in skepticism.

An hour later, I stood in the center of the paddock, nuzzled by wild horses. I would offer them my hand and slip the halters on while cooing and whispering. I gently scratched ears and foreheads while letting them breathe in my scent and nibble at my hair. Most of them were haltered when I walked back toward the fence. I crawled through the railing and looked up at the astonished crowd. 

“That was brilliant; I can’t believe what I just saw,” the ranch owner exclaimed.

My childhood was marred by abuse, tumultuously uprooted year after year, and the death of my great-grandfather. I spent hours upon hours in solitude. I chose to spend my time with animals, reading books, listening to the quiet voices of nature, and talking to the unseen that only I seemed to be able to hear. As I became a teenager and young adult, I felt deep, intense sadness and a burden that I could not identify. All of the talents of the past fell away to modern life. I picked up the shackles of ‘making a living, and the natural child was buried beneath the fortuitous punishment of Sisyphus. This was my existence for twenty-plus years. 

A bookworm will always be a bookworm. Through the knowledge I gained from the many excellent pages I’ve visited throughout the years, I learned about the power of the mind and, more importantly, the power of the absent mind. As I began practicing meditations I had learned years before, my life began to collapse. Scarred by abusive relationships, buried in poverty, and skewed by control-based religion, I found myself lost and found.

On December 12th, I was invited by a dear friend to a reiki share. Two days after that magical evening, I had what I can only describe as a kundalini awakening. As the insanity of my life unfolded, I found peace. The natural child rose from her grave when I let go of what it was supposed to be. She was unearthed in all her wonderment. I still uncover more of her every day. The more my heart has been laid bare, the more of myself I find. I pray to the Divinity of the All daily, ‘You lead, and I will follow.’ As I took these intrepid steps forward, the workings of the Divine began to reveal themselves to me in miraculous ways.

It was Christmas Eve, and I was suddenly faced with draining my bank account to pay for a broken water pipe. I found myself strangely at ease. I felt protected and safe. I wasn’t frantic or panicked about what was going to happen next. I had to call a plumber the day before Christmas. The woman who answered the phone explained how expensive an emergency call would be and that it would be two days before anyone could be scheduled to come out. Despite the wait, I said I understood and would like to make the appointment. Then, I heard the line beep; she hastily asked to put me on hold while taking the other call. When she returned, she said it was a cancellation and that she could have a repairman out within a few hours. I thanked her graciously and wished her a happy holiday. 

The repairman showed up half an hour later, much to my surprise. He had the water turned back on in just over an hour. When he gave me the bill, there was no charge. The company had repaired the same line eight months before, and their repair had failed. There was no charge. I smiled and thanked the repairman from a place of gratitude that came from the deepest parts of my heart. The pain and sadness that had burdened me were alleviated. This minor miracle confirmed the magic of the Divinity that I was coming to accept and embrace.

I am not a guru or spiritual teacher, nor am I a master of any art. I am evolving and awakening every day. I am excited about the abundance of new energy lighting up our planet. I am also very human and fallible in every way. In all my vulnerability, I am here to listen, converse, and whisper the messages I hear. My journey of personal growth has been challenging but immensely rewarding, and I am here to encourage and support you on your own path of growth.